Britney Dearest: Married 5 Years and Counting :-)

/ Friday, March 7, 2014

Married 5 Years and Counting :-)

::currently singing & swaying to Tony Toni Tone:: "It's our anniversary (yeah yeah). Made for you and me!"

I love this man SO MUCH!

I feel like I should type out some long, emotional blog post about all the love I have for my husband and how wonderful he is and say all these lovey dovey things, but I don't want to. I would rather take another route :-).

I get slightly irritated when people say, "no marriage is perfect" or "all marriages have issues." That may be true, but we don't know that for 100 % sure! I prefer to word things a little differently... Our love isn't perfect all the time. Many of the things I list are things I'm still working on I truly believe they're a few important pieces of advice to help sustain a great marriage.

  • Practice doing what you don't want to do if it will make your marriage better, no matter how uncomfortable it is. {As long as it doesn't compromise your faith, morals, health, or safety!!}
    • Practice giving compliments if you know that makes your spouse happy. Practice saying sorry just to end the battles. Practice turning off the tv or getting off your phone to spend the last 30 minutes before bed with your honey if spending time together matters to him... The list goes on and on and on.
  • Act out of love (love is a verb!). Be passionate about your marriage and loving your spouse. Greatness is born from love and passion.
  • Listen to your spouse and ask what they want. Sometimes what you think they want isn't what they want. 
    • Every once in awhile (sporadically) I ask my husband about me- what can I improve on, do differently, what does he want more or less of. He doesn't ask me about him but I tell him anyways lol. 
    • If you shall be bold and ask your spouse about yourself, be prepared to hear what you don't want to hear! Just bite your tongue and say okay. Don't start an argument over it. Their feelings are THEIR feelings. The only way we can change their feelings is by doing what they ask. Simple as that.
  • Be 100% honest with one another! 
  • Don't be so serious and defensive. Laugh! Have fun! A lot!
  • Don't compare your marriage to others or to movies. Oh goodness, please don't. Well, sometimes it's okay to "role play" your favorite movie scenes or something, but keep in mind, that stuff is so fake. COMPARISON RUINS CONTENTMENT (says Pastor Otis L. Cobbins Jr.). I'm one who loves romantic movies and I used to dream and imagine myself in the situations on the movies, , but let's face it ladies, SOME MEN JUST AREN'T ROMANTIC. And that's OKAY! Remind him every once in awhile of things you would like him to do for you. Being irritated and not communicating about it won't fix anything.
    • Your husband probably won't run after you in the rain after an argument (Notebook movie style).  Don't expect that. Also, don't expect to be approached first after an argument, even if he is wrong. Be the peacemaker and end it. Tension sucks. Life is short. Get over the petty stuff.
    • You may have to remind him that your birthday is coming up and you want him to do something special for you. Put a reminder in his phone. It used to be irritating to me, but I've grown to accept that my husband is very forgetful. He doesn't even remember his parents or siblings birthdays. If I ask him right now, he won't know. Seriously. I don't take it personal.
    • Accept the small gestures from him towards being romantic. My husband likes electronics so he usually buys me electronics on special days. It's not wrapped up fancy or anything and he doesn't prepare a nice meal with candles before he gives me things. He does like to surprise me though. I notice his effort and I gladly accept his offerings. He may help me clean up or let me sleep in on Saturdays while he takes the kids with him while he plays basketball and so many other things. It's my job to acknowledge that and show him that his efforts are appreciated.
  • Practice expressing your thoughts and feelings in a way that your spouse can receive it. 
    • When you approach your spouse with an issue don't sound hostile, avoid sarcasm, smart remarks, neck rolling, finger pointing. Whatever other anger provoking words or mannerisms you use... STOP IT.
    • "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean."
      • Example: He did something to hurt your feelings. When the situation has calmed down, go to him, sit on his lap or sit next to him, put your arms around him, rub his head or something (the set up lol), nicely and lovingly tell him, "babe, you really hurt my feelings when you... and it would make me feel better if you apologize." I do that. It works. Work your feminine charm on your husband.
  • Pick your battles wisely. Petty arguments over petty situations are a waste of beautiful, God-given breath. 
    • Don't yell, just end the negativity. Be the light in the dark. It's difficult to do, but gets easier with practice and prayer.
  • Learn to respect your differences. It's easy to complain about something that you don't agree with, especially if it's irritating and/or makes you angry. Calmly address the issue, if the conversation starts going downhill end it and walk away from the situation until you both are ready to talk about it again. Compromise. Work towards a solution. Remember not everything is worth addressing. Pick your battles wisely.
  • Keep your personal arguments and disagreements and feelings of anger towards your spouse off social networks
  • SAY SORRY and FORGIVE! Don't let your pride ruin what could be great moments and great days. Anger and unforgiveness could lead to bitterness, bitterness could lead to resentment. Anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment could lead to "I'm not in love anymore" and "I don't want to try anymore", and we all know where that leads... Divorce court. Do your absolute best to stay out of there. Remember, God can restore.
  • Seek wisdom from God. He'll send the right people to you who will encourage you in your marriage when you need it.
  • Have regular one on one time. Spend quality, one on one time regularly even if it's for 30 minutes (I have three kids under seven so I understand!). Go out on a date at least once a month. It feels really good to spend quality time with my boo :-)
  • Keep loving one another, even when you're angry. It's something you just have to do. The Bible says love covers a multitude of faults and that is the TRUTH! 
  • ALWAYS KEEP STRIVING TO BE A BETTER MATE AND DON'T GIVE UP. Marriage is beautiful when you both put 100% of yourself into it, don't let the world tell you any different.

Father & the Bride.
My dad gives me a lot of great marriage advice :-)

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About Me

Hi! I'm Britney. I'm a wife, mother to 3 children, and a serial hobbyist. Britney Dearest is a YouTube channel I started in 2016 to document my family's life. If you want to laugh, smile, and become part of a fun-loving growing YouTube family, we're your tribe so find us on YouTube and subscribe! Turn on notifications to avoid missing new vlogs and videos. For business inquiries, sponsored videos, product reviews, all that fun stuff send your information to Read more

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