Britney Dearest: My Journey From Broken Single Mother to Happy Wife

/ Monday, March 28, 2016

My Journey From Broken Single Mother to Happy Wife

Me, early 2007.

If you're not interested in my personal story, scroll down for the link to my personal. non-professional, advice :-).

When I married my husband, I was a few months away from 23, I had a 3-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and I was six months pregnant with my husband’s first biological child, my first son.

Let’s go back some years to how I made it there, when I was a very young single mother.

My Story

My junior year of high school I met a guy who was new to our school from out of town. We met, started talking and eventually became "boyfriend and girlfriend". He became my first.

Fast forward to 2006, two years after our high school graduation. Over those past four years we had been broken up about half that time, but still were still physical, if you know what I mean, frequently when we weren’t together. That relationship took a lot of my self esteem and energy.

I spent three semesters in college then quit because I was failing due to chasing after him and partying a little bit. I was, literally, young and dumb.

I became pregnant with his daughter. My parents were very upset but became very supportive and ultimately, they were all I had for support- financially and emotionally.

When I was about four months pregnant he moved back to his hometown (out of state) with his mother’s family. I was supposed to move there after he got a job, but I chose to stay with my family. That ended our relationship for good and he began to date someone else.

I became depressed. Literally. I would cry constantly and randomly. I fainted twice because I wasn’t taking the best care of myself- once while I was at work. After the second episode I got better for my daughter. I didn’t want my lack of self-care to negatively affect my unborn child. I relied heavily on God/Jesus and my family during that time.

A month after the birth of our daughter, he married that someone.

Initially, upon hearing the news that I was expecting, my mother gave me the "I'm done raising kids, you're on your own speech." After the birth of my daughter, no one could tell my momma that Phoenix (my daughter) wasn't hers.She kept Phoenix for me throughout the week while I worked in the evening hours. At night when Phoenix cried my mom would come in and say, "bring her to me when you're done." I breastfed. But it eventually came to- "pump before you go to sleep so I can feed her when my baby wakes up." My father and bonus mom kept Phoenix nearly every single weekend. I had an awesome support team. I couldn't be more grateful!

To support myself I had a job, but I also received government assistance for living expenses- a home, food, and childcare. I was able to live in a very nice area in a very nice apartment building. I paid a very low rent amount and was responsible for my own utilities. I only paid $50 a week (instead of $250!) for my daughter to attend a very nice (fancy!) brand new daycare in the area.

About ten months after my daughter was born I thought I was ready to date again.

At one point in time, my dad became upset about a relationship choice I had made. He asked me,
“don’t you believe you deserve better? I can’t make you believe it, you have to believe it for yourself.”
He was basically saying that I was a wreck and needed to get myself together. He told me my daughter needed a positive father-figure, not some thug. What stood out to me more than anything was when he said,

“If you don’t believe you deserve better, then love your child enough to believe she deserves better. You want better for her, right?”

Of course I did! She’s my world.

From, there, he told me to make a list of all the qualities I wanted in a guy who would be eventually helping me raise my daughter. I mentioned that list in detail here. I thought about the type of guy I would be comfortable with my daughter bringing home.

After that conversation I became completely focused on my daughter and building my relationship with God. I mentally prepared myself to be single as long as it took for me to truly love me and not date because of loneliness or any other similar reason, based off negative emotions. I wanted someone who was a great fit for my daughter and me. I thought, "I don't care how long it takes!"

I wasn't going to settle anymore.

I thought I would be a single mom for at least five years and I was really excited about my new journey to self-love and confidence as a single mother.

I enrolled in college again. Heritage College to be exact. I finished with an Associate’s degree, but I regret it! Such a waste of time and money. A-whole-nother post on that later.

A few months after I started attending Heritage College I met my [now] husband. That story is here.

Thanks for reading! :-)

Brandi Riley of inspired this post! She encouraged bloggers to be transparent so... here I am people! We'll see how this goes. And if you're a digital entrepreneur and not following her on Periscope, you're seriously missing out!
Tags : , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

Hi! I'm Britney. I'm a wife and a mother to 3 children + 1 fur baby. I write about everything family, home, and DIY related. I'm slightly obsessed with home decor Instagram accounts and DIY blogs. Junk food is my peace. Read more

Follow By Email

* indicates required

Watch My YouTube Vlogs!

Like on Facebook

[3][Family][recent][Latest Posts From Family]