Britney Dearest: How to Love Every Inch of You!

/ Monday, November 10, 2014

How to Love Every Inch of You!


I hope your weekend was wonderful!

First of all, can I just let you know that I LOVE flare leg, bell bottom, and wide leg denim. More than skinny jeans, more than leggings, more than any other type of bottoms. Alright, back on topic...

So, last week I wrote a post with eight suggestions on how to develop confidence in your own personal style. Today, I want to touch on something more important: personal acceptance of your physical appearance and loving every inch of you.

Nowadays, a lot of people, mostly women, are too focused on having the perfect body; the perfect face, the perfect hair, the perfect butt, the perfect boobs... it's so over whelming! The crazy thing is that there are so many different opinions on what's considered the "perfect body". One's vision of physical perfection can vary drastically depending on who you ask. One person may say their idea of the perfect body is what is considered a "beach body"; flat abs, small round butt, toned thighs, overall, skinny, but toned. Another may say flat stomach, but thick in the butt and thighs... I could go on and on about the different descriptions of what I've heard from people describing their ideas of perfection.

My view of the perfect body used to be toned arms and legs and flat abs with a big butt and I wanted it! At my height of 5'4 and a half, if I had my old view of the perfect body I would weigh about 125-130lbs, my top pregnancy weights.

As you can see, I'm a skinny little thang (yes, THANG). My weight fluctuates between 110 lbs. -115 lbs. now. Before baby #3, I could not get past 107lbs. According to a lot of people I know, I'm "so skinny" and it's assumed I don't eat much although my husband and parents can vouch otherwise. People (strangers included) have also asked things like, "DO YOU EAT?!"

Believe it or not, hearing about how skinny I am used to bother me. I used to be very insecure because in the Black community, skinny is not in. Nicki Minaj, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian have the coveted figures. I'm glad that I remained healthy-looking after three kids, however, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to take peoples comments about how skinny how I am as positive compliments or insults. I started to wonder, "am I really that skinny? Is my shape even cute?" I was hoping that when people said I was skinny they meant I was Victoria's Secret model skinny, but overall, I was worried that I looked extra skinny and boney. I thought I looked like an anorexic, although my mind worked the complete opposite of a person with anorexia. I wouldn't even wear shorts in the summer. I didn't think they were flattering to my body figure because I thought my butt was too small and my legs were too skinny.
Another thing you may have noticed which happens to be my biggest, most prominent feature, along with my 'fro :-), is my birthmark. It's darker than my natural skin tone and it covers almost half my face. Imagine how that worked out for me in elementary and middle school! The way I was treated and made fun of sometimes by certain people made me grow into an insecure teenager, but I never wanted to have my birthmark covered or removed.
I can honestly say that at this point in my life, I am very comfortable with my physical appearance, flaws and all. I'm a confident person. It most definitely did not happen overnight, it was and is a gradual process. Each individual has to follow their own journey to accept and love the way they are naturally. How I developed self-confidence may not work for everyone, but I'm hoping my personal journey inspires and encourages. These tips can apply to anyone, so if you're dealing with body image issues, take notes!

11 Ways to Help You Love You!

No excuses!
  • First, take some time to look in the mirror and acknowledge the features you love. It can be your cheekbones, eye shape, toes, whatever! Admire them.
  • Secondly, acknowledge the physical features you don't love so much. Try this: make a chart with two sections, in one section list the things you don't like and can't change, on the other list what you don't like and can change (without surgery).
  • From there, come up with ways you can change the things on your "changeable" side and come up with a detailed plan to do what it takes. E.g.: workout, eat healthy, update your wardrobe, get braces, acne cream, etc.
  • Encourage and reassure yourself to accept the things you can't change. This is actually a daily process.
  • Counter any negative self-critiques with positive compliments. Daily!
  • Avoid comparing your own features to others. You are one of a kind. Unless you're a twin, you were not born to look like anyone else. You were born to look like you and you are beautiful. Say it sister! "I was not born to look like anyone else. I am beautifully unique!"
  • Pamper yourself to boost your self-confidence. Get a mani and pedi. You can have it done professionally or do your own, I do my own, but either way, I love to take that time out and do something to make my hands and feet pretty. Get your eyebrows arched professionally or learn to do them yourself. There are plenty of YouTube tutorials teaching how to shape your brows. Give yourself a facial. There are plenty of ideas on Pinterest using products you may already have in your home. My best friend tried a brown sugar scrub and she loved it. Get your hair did guuurl!
  • Take care of your body. Drink water, eat healthy {majority of the time}. I love my fruits and veggies, we get a lot in this household. Also, get in 15 minutes to an hour of some "healthy movements" (exercise) on a daily basis. Dancing is my favorite :-) Turn on some music and let loose!
  • Count your blessings, not your blemishes and flaws. If you are reading this, you are blessed- bottom line. You're breathing, which means you have a chance to take the steps necessary to reach your goals and become a better, more confident and secure you!
  • Smile. Smile at yourself when you catch a glimpse of your reflection, even when you're out in public. Smile at others. If you're a mother, smile and love on your kids often, even when you don't feel like it. Doesn't have much to do with your physical appearance, but do it anyways! It will make you feel so joyful inside :-)
  • Remember that you are so much more than your physical appearance. Remind yourself who you are as a person. For me it would be, "I'm a woman of God, I'm a good mother and wife, I'm a servant, I am loving, I'm creative, I'm intelligent, I'm confident, I'm a good listener..." I could go on, but you get the point, right? Those attributes are so much more meaningful and important than my physical appearance. Those are the attributes that define my overall character.
Hat: JCPenney (I think...)
Shirt: Body Central
Vest: JCPenney
Flare-leg denim: Macy's
Peep-toe stilettos: which was bought out by

My Personal Confidence Boosting 
Thoughts and Habits...

Don't laugh.
-I became tired of wearing bangs to cover my "Tyra Banks forehead" and began to think, if Tyra Banks can proudly show off her big forehead then so than I! I wore bangs from elementary to hgih school FAITHFULLY!
-I'm skinny, there's nothing I can do about it, so work what God gave me and wear cute outfits that are flattering for my size and shape.
-My birthmark is very unique. I've never seen anyone else with one as big as mine and I'm still cute.
-I have nice facial features. My nose is a little long looking at it from the side, but I like my nose, it's inherited. I get it from my dad and I love my dad, he's a great guy. I'm glad I inherited his nose.
-I went from a B-cup prior to having kids, to a C-cup during my pregnancies and while breastfeeding, and after breastfeeding three babies I am now down to an A-cup! My boobs are smaller now, but if my husband isn't complaining, why should I? We're the only two that see's them and have to like them and they're this way for doing something great- breastfeeding my babies :-)
-I have acne breakouts on my forehead sometimes and guess what, so does millions of other people... It happens! It's a natural reaction, like passing gas. I'm cute with or without the bumps, although yes, I prefer to be without them. Some extra cleaning care and a little concealer and powder can cover up the dark spots but I don't really care enough to wear concealer often.
-I can't gain weight so therefore, I'm supposed to be skinny, there's nothing wrong or abnormal so why fight it? I still want to tone up this behind!

-I don't know why I have a gigantic birthmark on my face, but it hasn't caused me any issues. I put a little extra sunscreen on it to prevent it from getting darker, but overall, I'm fine. It doesn't validate me.

Overall, I strongly believe that God made every feature the way it is supposed to be. For the most part, I'm done comparing my physical features to the societal views and ideas of physical perfection. There is so much more to life than stressing over what I cannot change. None of my physical features pose health risks and overall, I'm healthy. I may have my moments where I'm frustrated with a couple of pimples in certain spots, or my thick hair is too bushy and won't cooperate, and my birthmark may look too dark, but I still think I'm fine as wine and like Kanye says, "You can't tell me nothin'!" But hold on... Don't take that out of context, if I have a booger hanging out my nose or something, you better tell me! :-)

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Non-edited "Bloopers"

Do you have anymore confidence boosting tips? 
Feel free to comment below. 

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About Me

Hi! I'm Britney. I'm a wife and a mother to 3 children + 1 fur baby. I write about everything family, home, and DIY related. I'm slightly obsessed with home decor Instagram accounts and DIY blogs. Junk food is my peace. Read more

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